{"id":192,"date":"2007-10-08T08:38:47","date_gmt":"2007-10-08T05:38:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/2007\/10\/08\/chuck-norris-and-java\/"},"modified":"2007-12-31T16:33:36","modified_gmt":"2007-12-31T14:33:36","slug":"chuck-norris-and-java","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/2007\/10\/08\/chuck-norris-and-java\/","title":{"rendered":"Chuck Norris \u0438 Java"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u0414\u0430 \u0437\u0430\u043f\u043e\u0447\u043d\u0435\u043c \u0441\u0435\u0434\u043c\u0438\u0446\u0430\u0442\u0430 \u0441 \u0443\u0441\u043c\u0438\u0432\u043a\u0430:-)<\/p>\n<p>\u0418 \u0442\u0430\u043a\u0430, \u043a\u0430\u043a\u0432\u043e \u043b\u0438 \u043e\u0431\u0449\u043e \u0438\u043c\u0430 \u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441 \u0441 Java \u0435\u0437\u0438\u043a\u0430 \u0437\u0430 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u043c\u0438\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0435?<\/p>\n<p>\u0410\u043c\u0438 \u043d\u0438\u0449\u043e&#8230; \u043e\u0441\u0432\u0435\u043d \u0441\u043b\u0435\u0434\u043d\u0438\u044f \u0441\u043c\u0435\u0448\u0435\u043d \u0441\u043f\u0438\u0441\u044a\u043a, \u0441\u044a\u0441\u0442\u0430\u0432\u0435\u043d \u043e\u0442 \u0444\u0435\u043d\u043e\u0432\u0435 \u043d\u0430 Java (\u0438 \u0427\u044a\u043a, \u0435\u0441\u0442\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0432\u0435\u043d\u043e;-)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.<\/li>\n<li>A synchronize doesn\u2019t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019 java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun\u2019s labs killing 37 people.<\/li>\n<li>When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris\u2019 deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.<\/li>\n<li>The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.<\/li>\n<li>Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019 binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris methods doesn\u2019t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.<\/li>\n<li>If you get a ChuckNorrisException you\u2019ll probably die.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the \u201cflying tornado kick\u201d at the moment it throws.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects\u2019 privates.<\/li>\n<li>Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and \u201cprotected by Chuck Norris\u201d, don\u2019t try to access a field with this last modifier!!<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can divide by 0!<\/li>\n<li>Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively.<\/li>\n<li>Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.<\/li>\n<li>When a CPU loads a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris implements \u201cIndestructible\u201d. All the other creatures implements \u201cKillable\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.<\/li>\n<li>JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris extends God.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it\u2019s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.<\/li>\n<li>Chuck Norris\u2019 classes can\u2019t be decompiled&#8230; don\u2019t bother trying.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>(via: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.methegeek.com\/?p=60\">http:\/\/www.methegeek.com\/?p=60<\/a>)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u041d\u0430 &#8220;Java \u043a\u043e\u0434\u044a\u0442 \u043d\u0430 \u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441 \u043d\u044f\u043c\u0430 \u043d\u0443\u0436\u0434\u0430 \u043e\u0442 \u043e\u043f\u0442\u0438\u043c\u0438\u0437\u0438\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0435. \u041d\u0435\u0433\u043e\u0432\u0438\u044f\u0442 \u043a\u043e\u0434 \u0435 \u0442\u043e\u043b\u043a\u043e\u0432\u0430 \u0431\u044a\u0440\u0437, \u0447\u0435 \u0432\u0435\u0434\u043d\u044a\u0436 \u043f\u0440\u0435\u0432\u0438\u0448\u0438 \u0441\u043a\u043e\u0440\u043e\u0441\u0442\u0442\u0430 \u043d\u0430 \u0441\u0432\u0435\u0442\u043b\u0438\u043d\u0430\u0442\u0430 \u043f\u043e \u0432\u0440\u0435\u043c\u0435 \u043d\u0430 \u0442\u0435\u0441\u0442\u043e\u0432\u0435 \u0432 \u043b\u0430\u0431\u043e\u0440\u0430\u0442\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0438\u0442\u0435 \u043d\u0430 Sun, \u0437\u0430\u0435\u0434\u043d\u043e \u0441 \u0442\u043e\u0432\u0430 \u0443\u0431\u0438\u0432\u0430\u0439\u043a\u0438 37 \u0447\u043e\u0432\u0435\u043a\u0430.&#8221;, &#8220;\u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441 \u043d\u0435 \u043f\u0438\u0448\u0435 \u043a\u043e\u0434. \u0422\u043e\u0439 \u0433\u043b\u0435\u0434\u0430 \u0435\u043a\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0430 \u043d\u0430 \u043a\u043e\u043c\u043f\u044e\u0442\u044a\u0440\u0430, \u0434\u043e\u043a\u0430\u0442\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u043d\u0430\u043c\u0435\u0440\u0438 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u043c\u0430\u0442\u0430, \u043a\u043e\u044f\u0442\u043e \u043c\u0443 \u0442\u0440\u044f\u0431\u0432\u0430.&#8221;, \u0438 &#8220;\u041a\u043b\u0430\u0441\u043e\u0432\u0435\u0442\u0435 \u043d\u0430 \u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441 \u043d\u0435 \u043c\u043e\u0433\u0430\u0442 \u0434\u0430 \u0431\u044a\u0434\u0430\u0442 \u0434\u0435\u043a\u043e\u043c\u043f\u0438\u043b\u0438\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0438&#8230; \u043d\u0435 \u0441\u0435 \u0438 \u043e\u043f\u0438\u0442\u0432\u0430\u0439\u0442\u0435!&#8221; \u0441\u0435 \u0441\u043c\u044f\u0445 \u043d\u0430 \u0433\u043b\u0430\u0441:)<\/p>\n<p><em>(Note: \u0421\u0435\u0442\u0438\u0445 \u0441\u0435 \u0438 \u0437\u0430 &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.chucknorrisfacts.com\/\">\u0424\u0430\u043a\u0442\u0438\u0442\u0435 \u0437\u0430 \u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441<\/a>&#8220;, \u0435\u0441\u0442\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0432\u0435\u043d\u043e&#8230;)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u0414\u0430 \u0437\u0430\u043f\u043e\u0447\u043d\u0435\u043c \u0441\u0435\u0434\u043c\u0438\u0446\u0430\u0442\u0430 \u0441 \u0443\u0441\u043c\u0438\u0432\u043a\u0430:-) \u0418 \u0442\u0430\u043a\u0430, \u043a\u0430\u043a\u0432\u043e \u043b\u0438 \u043e\u0431\u0449\u043e \u0438\u043c\u0430 \u0427\u044a\u043a \u041d\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0441 \u0441 Java \u0435\u0437\u0438\u043a\u0430 \u0437\u0430 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u043c\u0438\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0435? \u0410\u043c\u0438 \u043d\u0438\u0449\u043e&#8230; \u043e\u0441\u0432\u0435\u043d \u0441\u043b\u0435\u0434\u043d\u0438\u044f \u0441\u043c\u0435\u0448\u0435\u043d \u0441\u043f\u0438\u0441\u044a\u043a, \u0441\u044a\u0441\u0442\u0430\u0432\u0435\u043d \u043e\u0442 \u0444\u0435\u043d\u043e\u0432\u0435 \u043d\u0430 Java (\u0438 \u0427\u044a\u043a, \u0435\u0441\u0442\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0432\u0435\u043d\u043e;-) Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls. Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server. Chuck Norris&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=192"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/192\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.optimiced.com\/bg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}